I've got that song in my head:
"Changes in my life, I wont leave you behind,
Changes in my life, You will see in time,
Changes in my life, You're always on my mind,
Changes in my life, I've got you by my side...
Theres so many changes in my life,
I don't know if its wrong or if its right,
And I want you, want you by my side,
Everything is gonna be alright... "
It makes me want to throw a massive party :D
I've got so much going on in my mind right now and unfortunately a massive party is going to have to take a back seat for now. Thats not to say that I've thrown my entire social life out of the window; no, in fact I'm still keeping to my "Do-one-thing-every-month-that-I-haven't-done-before-and-makes-me-happy" thing, and February's report is still coming. I fully intend to LIVE my life this year, as I so often preach. And that includes working hard, and playing harder.
In light of this and speaking of windows, I've decided to change Azra's Window to Azra's Adventures. The change will occur on the 1st of March 2009 and the URL is expected to change as well. Stay tuned for more info.
The Window was filled with reflections and introspection and has encapsulated and been somewhat emblematic of a life that was...what I've become in the last 25 to 26 years.
Azra's Adventures will see a whole new era in the evolution of Azra. I'm still open to introspection and reflection. I haven't entirely forsaken the depths of my soul ...and all that jazz. What I have recognised is that most times, we just think waaaay too much and we look for answers where there aren't any. Sometimes, things just are the way they are. They don't command lengthy inquisitions or over-analysis...they just are. With age, there comes wisdom and a strange contentment that it difficult to define. I'm not looking and searching for answers to the universe and life. I'm not longing or yearning for things that I can't have. I'm not trying to figure out who I am and how I fit into the grander scheme of things. I'm not internalising the worlds problems and trying to alter what cannot be changed.
I've come to accept that I am ME...and thats all I can ever be. All I can do for the world and myself is to try, give every day my best shot and help wherever I can. But I come first, because if I can't take care of myself, how can I be expected to take care of others?
And coming first to me means that I take care of ME. I will try to enhance my life as best as I can. And I will have fun while I'm doing it. Afterall, life is too short to shit-nit-pick about stupid things all the time.
Being the perceptive person I am (not vain, just honest), I've seen people out there that are so desperately searching for answers, trying to find this meaning that they are so convinced exists...looking for ways to justify their actions, the world, their lives...its an intense and anally retentive existence. They are too busy looking, searching, yearning and pining to enjoy anything in life...there always has to be more...some manna from heaven, some divine secret even when there is none. Then there are those people who are emotionally empty, seeking assurance and validation on the blog so that they can fill their empty souls and the growing void.
Dont get me wrong, I'm not for or against people's motives when it comes to blogging. Frankly its none of my business and I could care less. But what concerns me is that I can see how their efforts and time is being wasted. I feel like I already know the answers, but my knowledge is lost on them. It's almost like an adult trying to talk to an adolescent and the teen is just not interested in the wisdom that the adult imparts, the same adult who has been there done that. But I guess we all have our paths to walk, and some find their way much faster than others. It hasn't always been easy, but I'm so grateful for my life.
I'm expecting things to become very interesting in the future, in a good, fun and positive way. And as MJ would say, you lucky bitches will be first hand witnesses to everything that happens :D
I've had a few people ask me about my up coming schedule and course content. These are the subjects that I'm registered for this year:
Business Law and Ethics
Strategy Formulation and Implementation 1
Strategy Formulation and Implementation 2
There are 7 individual assignments, 7 group assignments and 8 exams per semester. I have classes from 3:45pm until 10:15pm twice a month on Monday nights. Next year's course load is very similar, with different subjects of course. The third year is dedicated to writing up a Thesis.
So no kidding when I say that I've got my work cut out for me. But I also have two International holidays coming up this year, so it's not all about work.
If anything, I'll just be broke for the next year or two...but if things work out the way I expect them to, then I seriously don't mind. After all, why do you want to sit with a hefty bank balance and stare at the four walls of your bedroom? How is your bank balance going to help you when you're staring death in the face? Where is the living in hoarding? People are obsessed with money and the future, often forgetting that time and our sustenance comes from The Almighty alone. Thats not to say that we should splurge and live excessively or extravagantly or in debt, theres more to it than that. Life is short, people are dying like flies. I can't say this enough...get off your ass and LIVE dammit!