Thursday, 2 April 2009

Facebook Freaks

I’m a very open minded person…I really am. And I love social networking mediums, I really do. But there are limits, boundaries. Right?

I’ve been on Facebook for like three years now…ok maybe two and a half. I became a part of the global networking site long before most people, including Mandy’s Grandma, did. And I love the fact that I can communicate and keep in touch with people I would have not been able to keep in touch with under normal circumstances. I love meeting new people too. People from distant lands who allow the stalker in me to catch a glimpse of their lives. It’s fascinating.

But, again…there are limits. Like when a guy requests your friendship with a lovely note attached:

“Would like to make love to you everywhere”

I mean like, DUDE, are you serious?!? Do you honestly believe I would accept the so-called “friendship” of a perv? What makes people think that it’s ok to say things like that? I want to reply and tell him that I’d love to and hopes he doesn't mind because I used to be a man, but shit-talk like that will just turn the freak on.

There was a stage where I had the entire male Turkish and Egyptian population on my facebook. Because someone invited me and I wanted to be kind and thought I’d meet someone interesting…but that was the beginning, the portal to the rest of them. I have since deleted over 1000 people from my so-called “friends” list…those people, mostly men, who don’t ever speak to me, but enjoy sending various sex toys in their application requests and want to spank me on Superpoke. I find it interesting that all the guys who send me messages with the “mwah’s” attached at the end are guys I don’t know and never even heard of. No man I know “mwah’s” me on Facebook, yet all the ones I don’t have a clue about do.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for fun and games and I can spank and lick my friends like it’s going out of fashion…but there has to be some moral high ground somewhere. I mean, surely you wouldn’t go up to a stranger, call them sweetie or baby and kiss them. So what makes people think that it’s ok to do it online? Is it because they aren’t close enough or in the relative proximity to get slapped or kicked in the ass?

I can’t even begin to explain the amount of messages I've received that have begun like this:

hi babe, hw u doin?
hey swty, wat u up 2 2nyt?
hey sexy, u want 2 meet?

Firstly, and for the last time, I'm not your fucking sweetie.
Secondly, the guy is obviously retarded, that’s why he can’t spell properly…now honestly, even if I was that kind of girl, who’d want to get it on with a retarded boy?
Thirdly, is this the new porn age? Is this what 21st century brothels look like, getting poor unsuspecting victims to work for free? Is this the face of a new kind of sexual abuse where you get kissed and groped without your consent and without being able to do anything about it? Is there some kind of ploy to get people off without having them pay first? Is there something I should know?

There are days when I just want to deactivate the damn thing but I love my real friends too much. And I love the idea they’re selling behind Facebook. I love meeting new people, and interacting, chatting etc. I think it’s fabulous that the world can interact and connect on this kind of social platform…it’s all sorts of amazing.

I have so many friends all over the world, and it’s like I’m NOT a million miles away when I see their pics on Facebook, or read their statuses. I really do feel more connected to them. But the freaks are ruining my Utopia. And as a result, I have become somewhat of a cyber bitch. I still accept friend requests but if I don’t know you, you’re on probation until you pass the trial period. And one “sweety” or “baby” and your ass is deleted and blocked.

I think I will go ahead and advocate the need of a Freak Filter to Mark suggestion will be based on making Facebook a less pedophile-friendly environment.


  1. thats one reason im not on Facebook, apart from the fact that i know too many people there, that will request me as a friend and want to nose about my business.

    as useful as it can be at time, I dont need it. I might even get addicted, which i dont want!

  2. Yup...had a few millions of those myself. I am just as perplexed as you...What makes them think its okay to say things like that? I mean its not like I have naked pictures, or you for that matter, on there. I mean that would be an indication that people can talk like that right?

  3. hahaha i know i shouldnt be 'ha-ha-ha-ing) but cant help it.
    seriously i think that guy had some problem with his english who wrote the love thing to :S creepy and ewwyy

    and as for meeting new people, i still dont add new ppl. i am sticking with people i already know :p but i too like the idea of social networking site as long as people dont get crazy about the 'frandship' idea :s

  4. i believe i am every potential friend request's nightmare. :D

    i dont get how people (can and do) add totally random people on their FB profile, given the personal info they exhibit on their page. the mind boggles.

  5. one reason why i quit orkut for the sexual abuse you spoke abt. i experienced it over the top n then i gave in my resignation and buried it deep.

    now that fb is the only social portal i belong to, i have tyhe most ridiculous privacy settings. lol. call me cynic but i sure have nothinl eft to trust with 10 pending invites everyday!
    no thank you, i m not interested in you! so quit makin urself at home!

  6. To make FB sound even more ridiculous than you (all) have, I've had women (alleged women) offer to have "cyber sex" with me.

    Keep in mind that I'm a 53 year old father of four girls and grandfather of one boy.

    So the "alleged women" can be as aggressive as the guys - but I'm sure not in nearly as great of numbers.

    There are a lot of absurd people who seriously need to get a life.

  7. I add people very liberally if they go to the same school as me or if we have mutual friends. Outside of that I always msg them back first asking if they know me. I'm trying to be slightly selective these days...I want to actually interact with the ppl I have as friends.

  8. Err, you know you can just deny them 'friendship'. You can also make yourself un-messageable or un-findeable.

  9. nk - i love facebook, i just hate the freaks on there.

    Trinity - exactly, I don't have any nude pics as a profile pic...

    Mubi - Seeing as the guy was from South Africa too, I'm guessing his English is perfect.

    Sofi & AD - I don't have issues with people knowing me or being my friend...I just dont understnad why they can't be normal.

    LL - Oh I'm sure there are female freaks out there too lol. Freak-ism doesn't discriminate, it exists in all types of people.

    geekisiddiqui - I too add people liberally, in the hope of meeting and interacting with new interesting people. Not cyber whores lol

    Xeb - I do reject or ignore the friendship when I get skanky messages like that...what usually happens is the guy will send a message with his friend request.

    At the crux of it, I like people, I enjoy meeting/interacting/socialising/chatting with people from all over the world etc.

    However, I don't enjoy being treated like a cheap/common prostitute. That pisses me off.

  10. lol....i hate the arb invites too.
    that is why i filter filter filter!
    at one stage ppl couldn't find me if they searched for me on fb.
    however, i received complaints from family members that they can't find me and got rid of the hiding factor.

    i can never handle when some stupid male creature goes "mwah" or "sweety". even back in the days of irc i was considered a rude cow simply because i objected to it..
    e.g: "mwah asl sweety?"
    "voetsek! i'm not your sweety! don't give me your cyber-germs!!"

  11. I don't see the big deal. I'm not on there anymore but why not just ignore all the people you don't want to add.

    but I do say chick a lot, not when speaking to a girl or anything.. just in general - this chick, that chick blah blah and quite often when I text my friends.. it starts with 'Hey Woman' I never ever say sweety or baby though.

    a friend of mine told me a guy called her pumpkin once and it made her retch, ever since thats what I call her

  12. Fatima - LOL @ "mwah asl"..I can't tell you how many times I get that.
    For similar reasons, I don't extremely stringent privacy settings...

    Mash - My objective is not to socialise only with the people I know. I've met so many lovely people through facebook and I'd like to continue meeting new and interesting people.

    The thing is, I don't mind the mwah's and pet names like fuzzy azzy etc. from people I talk to or email or chat to regularly. I have pet names for all the bloggers I talk to regularly, even though I haven't met any of them in person.

    The guys I do know personally or have as friends call me all sorts of names, from "darling" to "hey biatch" and I don't mind because I know the context that its implied.

    By nature I'm a very affectionate person, but I think theres a line between affection and sleazy that most guys dont get. Just because I would hug a good friend, doesn't mean I want to sleep with every guy out there or that I'm easy.

    In this case, I don't understand why a strange male, whom I don't know at all, will tell me that he wants to make love to me in his message supporting his friend request. Why? Thats all I can say. & He didn't even say "hi" lol

    I've always had guy friends. But none of them were ever that forward. I've never met any of the male bloggers I communicate with but none of them have ever been sleazy with me. So why must other guys be that way.

    In this instance, I didnt accept his friendship request, and in the grander scheme of things, its trivial. Its just another notch on my belt of not understanding some men and I guess it's just another example of the deterioration of morals and values in society. The lack of respect I so often preach about.

  13. I have a profile on FB, but barely ever log on as it's blocked at work :-( least I never got such freaks requesting 'friendship;.
    When I do log on, I only accept people I know as friends...

  14. I expect people to tell me about themselves if we don't know each other. They usually don't do that and just add you out randomly, just to peek into your profile and personal life.
    I recently got a request from a girl that I had 58 friends common with, all from my ex-office, but she didn't ring any bell to me neither did she introduce herself. I ask around a couple of people, that had added her, who she was and it turned out that nobody knew her.
    Guys just added her because she was a girl and it was maybe good for their ego or something and girls added her because they had so many friends in common, thus increasing the count even further.
    There is so much personal information shared on fb, I think people should be careful allowing access of their profiles to others.

  15. and people are just to pretentious!