Weddings are for…public spats and brawls with family members due to mounting tension, miscommunication, high levels of stress and the pursuit of perfection as time draws near.
Weddings are for…weeks of preparation, working tirelessly for hours on end on tasks that seem to be pointless and irrelevant at the time.
Weddings are for…mischievous children destroying carefully laid out arrangements that took hours to set up, in a matter of seconds.
Weddings are for…racking your brain (and your cupboard) for something elegant to wear; desperately hoping that no one has already seen you in your chosen attire.
Weddings are for…the “ooohs” and “aaahhs” from hundreds of immaculately groomed guests as they make their way to their designated tables with all the sparkle in the galaxy present in the same room.
Weddings are for…arriving fashionably late (mostly due to helping out until 30 minutes prior to the guests arriving), walking into a hall filled with over 500 people, having one of your stiletto heels firmly entrenching itself into the rubber mat at the entrance and lurching forward as your foot refuses to budge.
Weddings are for…almost falling face-down to the floor, using your hands to break that fall and having an equally fashionably late Mr. Tall Dark & (single) Sexy try to catch you from behind.
Weddings are for…trying to dislodge your stilettoed foot from a stubborn rubber mat while Mr. TDS asks if you’re ok with an amused glint in his eye.
Weddings are for…wanting to die of embarrassment as you eventually pick yourself up, blushing profusely as you laugh it off, kindly refusing Mr. TDS’s help, stating that you’re fine and watching him flash you a million dollar smile.
Weddings are for…eventually finding a table that has enough seating amongst the throngs of people scattered everywhere and trying to see where Mr. TDS is seated.
Weddings are for…the endless stream of delicious food that miraculously lands on your table after a mere request two minutes earlier.
Weddings are for…eating, eating and more eating, after starving yourself for two bloody days to fit into your precious garments, until you feel like a balloon about to pop.
Weddings are for…socialising after the feast, flitting from one table to the next, meeting new people and greeting those you already know, whilst coyly & cunningly trying to stay in close proximity to Mr. TDS.
Weddings are for…trying to make yourself approachable and visible to Mr. TDS while he sits with other guests and finds out who you are from the elderly gentleman subtly pointing at you, talking to him as you walk by.
Weddings are for…feeling like a schoolgirl, giddy with excitement and anticipation, as you plot and scheme to talk to Mr. TDS.
Weddings are for…temporarily forgetting about Mr. TDS as you get caught up in other melodramas, cake and conversations with people you haven’t seen in years.
Weddings are for…watching Mr. TDS walk straight towards you, out of the blue, as you casually stroll by the dessert table eyeing the assortment of delectable little goodies trying to figure out which shall be devoured first.
Weddings are for…conversation in passing as he asks if you’ve had any more stiletto “incidents” to which you reply by telling him “thankfully, no…but I think I may need to change my shoes”.
Weddings are for…wanting to kick yourself afterwards, wishing that you had said more and that you could get another chance to speak to him.
Weddings are for…interrogating the groomsmen who happen to be related to Mr. TDS in the hopes of finding out enough information that would make him stalker-ble.
Weddings are for…eventually giving up, and resorting to change the stiletto’s that began it all to the flats you have in your car, in preparation for the big clean-up.
Weddings are for…watching him approach with his family, as they prepare to leave and happen to be parked right next to you.
Weddings are for…smiling as you walk past him one last time, casually mentioning that you’ve finally managed to change your shoes (whilst pointing to your new ones) to help with the cleaning, knowing that the rest of the family have no clue what you’re talking about.
Weddings are for...watching Mr. TDS flash another brilliant smile as he wishes you good luck and drives off into the sunset.
Weddings are for…finding out that Mother happened to have a few conversations with Mr. TDS throughout the day.
Weddings are for…interrogating Mother until she recalls and narrates EVERY SINGLE WORD that they shared in their conversations.
Weddings are for…sitting at the wedding house until late into the evening, reminiscing about the day’s events, sighing deeply and thinking about what could have been.
I love weddings. I hate weddings.