I got a phone call from my cousin Jazz the other day informing me that I’m about to be an Aunty. We are all ecstatic since the doctors told her that she can’t conceive (see why I hate doctors, negative pricks). Jazz and I go way back…like WAAAAYYYY back. I’m three months older than she is and can confidently state that I’ve known her (literally) her entire life.
Long before I had sisters to annoy me, there was Jazz. We had loads of fun…we loved decorating her mother’s carpet with paint, writing on the walls with crayons and throwing our toys down on people’s heads, from our flat on the 11th floor. I was a prankster way back then too, and Jazz was my accomplice. Between the two of us, we were a force to reckon with.
We use to play mindless games well into our teens…House was one of them. Jazz was always the one who was never interested in marriage or children. When her sister Shan paraded around with a pillow stuffed under her shirt pretending to be pregnant and waiting to give birth, Jazz sat in the corner puffing away on her cigarette while we all howled with laughter.
So when Jazz met her now husband and they were talking marriage, we were all shocked to the core. This was the last person on earth we ever expected to go down that route. A month before she got hitched, I went to live with them and slept beside her every night, reminding her that even though it was torture for her to share a bed, she was going to have to get used to it.
She’s been married for nearly 3 and a half years now. And while I am ecstatic for her, I can’t stand everyone else’s constant barrage of questions about when am I going to follow in her footsteps. We all have our own roads to walk...I wish people could respect that fact and understand that our destinies do not have to echo each other. I hate that other people use her success as a yardstick to measure my shortcomings and what I'm lacking. Being married does not make you a better person. And it does not give you some sort of superior status in society. We are different people and we both lead very different lives. I’ve come to recognize and accept that my path is different. I wish others could too.