Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Different Roads For Different Folks

I got a phone call from my cousin Jazz the other day informing me that I’m about to be an Aunty. We are all ecstatic since the doctors told her that she can’t conceive (see why I hate doctors, negative pricks). Jazz and I go way back…like WAAAAYYYY back. I’m three months older than she is and can confidently state that I’ve known her (literally) her entire life.

Long before I had sisters to annoy me, there was Jazz. We had loads of fun…we loved decorating her mother’s carpet with paint, writing on the walls with crayons and throwing our toys down on people’s heads, from our flat on the 11th floor. I was a prankster way back then too, and Jazz was my accomplice. Between the two of us, we were a force to reckon with.

We use to play mindless games well into our teens…House was one of them. Jazz was always the one who was never interested in marriage or children. When her sister Shan paraded around with a pillow stuffed under her shirt pretending to be pregnant and waiting to give birth, Jazz sat in the corner puffing away on her cigarette while we all howled with laughter.

So when Jazz met her now husband and they were talking marriage, we were all shocked to the core. This was the last person on earth we ever expected to go down that route. A month before she got hitched, I went to live with them and slept beside her every night, reminding her that even though it was torture for her to share a bed, she was going to have to get used to it.

She’s been married for nearly 3 and a half years now. And while I am ecstatic for her, I can’t stand everyone else’s constant barrage of questions about when am I going to follow in her footsteps. We all have our own roads to walk...I wish people could respect that fact and understand that our destinies do not have to echo each other. I hate that other people use her success as a yardstick to measure my shortcomings and what I'm lacking. Being married does not make you a better person. And it does not give you some sort of superior status in society. We are different people and we both lead very different lives. I’ve come to recognize and accept that my path is different. I wish others could too.



    Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could
    To where it bent in the undergrowth

    Then took the other as just as fair
    And having perhaps the better claim
    Because it was grassy and wanted wear
    Though as for that, the passing there
    Had worn them really about the same

    And both that morning equally lay
    In leaves no step had trodden black
    Oh, I kept the first for another day!
    Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
    I doubted if I should ever come back

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence
    Two roads diverged in a wood
    And I took the one less traveled by
    And that has made all the difference

    --Robert Frost

  2. I completely agree. I am married, but everyone told me I was too young. If I would have listened to them, who knows where I would have been. Life is what you make of it and how you want to live it. If you stick to your goals and what you want to do in your own life, you will do amazing things!

  3. LL - Thank you for that. It's a beautiful poem :)

    Pam - Thanks for your comments :) I think alot of the time people want others (either consciously or unconsciously) to fit the mould. And not all of us have the same goals and objectives etc.

  4. Very happy for Cousin. Azra. It's fantastic news. As a doctor, I'd be the first to say that we don't know everything and that despite all that we do know, there is often times when things happen that we can't explain. And sometimes good things happen too. And it's ok it call it a miracle. Because miracles come from divine intervention.