Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Other Epic Conversations

Azra arguing with Jazz and a 4 year old Talia
Azra: She hid your Barbie away, I don’t have it.
Talia: No she didn’t. I know you have it.
Azra: I’m telling you. I haven’t seen it, Jazz hid it away!
Jazz: No I don’t have that stupid doll (laughing).
Azra: Stop lying to the child.
Jazz: Talia, I didn’t hide your Barbie. Azra has it.
Azra: No I don’t have it. Jazz took it.
Jazz: No I didn’t (still laughing).
Azra: (To Talia) Who are you going to believe? Me or That Liar?
Talia: That Liar.

Azra and T, playing/fighting from London, England to Dublin, Ireland
On the Train:
T: Stop pinching me.
Azra: (pinches her again)
T: I said stop it!!
Azra: (tugs at her shirt)
T: (through clenched teeth, holding up her fist) If you don’t stop it right now I’m going to box your fucking ears in!!
Azra: (*frowns* small whiny voice) Please don’t box my fucking ears in.
(T & A laugh hysterically)

In Ireland:
T: What?
Azra: Nothing.
(A few seconds later)
T: What??? Why do you keep looking at me like that?!?
Azra: I’m NOT looking at you, I’m not even looking behind you! I’m NOT EVEN THINKING OF YOU!!
T: (quiet...*frowns* small whiny voice) Why you not thinking about me?
(T & A laugh hysterically)

Neighbour complaining about her inlaws, asks Mother, T and Azra for advice:
Neighbour: They are impossible! I don’t know what to do anymore.
Azra: You have to address the issue outright with all of them, tell them that this is what’s happening; and that if they have a problem with you, they should tell you, so that you can deal with it and move past the issue. Tell them that you won’t stand for their abuse anymore. If they can’t respect you, then they shouldn’t bother coming to your home and using you etc.
Mother: Call your Mother-in-law and explain to her that there was a mis-understanding.
T: I think you should tell your sister-in-law that she can’t accuse you of things you never did.
Neighbour: I can’t take it anymore, every year there has to be some issue.
Mother: Look, I understand how you feel, and personally I would feel the same way. But you have to do what’s right here. You’re not the bad one.
Neighbour: And everytime I’m the one who gives in so that there can be peace in the family.
T: Yes, but you’re the better for it. It makes you a better person. Don’t stoop to their level.
Azra: I know, call them over, pretend that nothing is wrong. Then when everyone is happily fed after dessert has been served, call them all into the lounge and then say “Ok, now that we’re all here, who the EFF has a problem with me, speak now or forever hold your effing peace” (laughing).
Mother: Don’t listen to her.
Neighbour: I think I should do that.
Mother: No don’t listen to her.
T: Yeah don’t listen to her, Azra is crazy.
Neighbour: But seriously, I can’t take this anymore. If I was the one that was wrong, I’d understand.
Mother: You have to talk this through with oyur Mother-in-law, otherwise you’ll never have any peace.
T: I think you should call them over and get to the root of the problem, because it’s like they’re trying to find any excuse to fight with you.
Azra: Ok wait, I know what you should do! So call them over. Then you cook their favourite food and dessert right. Then you poison the food! I’m sure you’ll have a lot of peace after that (rolling-on-the-floor-laughing).
Mother: No No No. Don’t listen to her. This child is evil.
Neighbour: I think I should do that. I should poison the food.
Mother: NO!
T: NO!
Azra: (laughing hysterically)
Mother: When the dust settles, sort it out with all of them under the same roof. Tell them you’ve been accused of all of this, and if it continues, you want nothing to do with them but you won’t stop your husband from going.
Azra: But that’s what I said in the first place!!!!

G-Chat with MJ
MJ: hello cock muncher :)
Azra: hello monkey fucker :D hows it going?
MJ: its all good, i want milkshake
Azra: don’t you always? You're going to have to wait until your wife is pregnant hahahahahaha :D
MJ: after how many months do chicks start lactating?
Azra: Have no idea. Do men lactate…like ever?
MJ: mANMILK when we have wet dreams
Azra: oh geez, you had to take it there. eewwww
MJ: i got olives and chocolate. not a good mix
Azra: you’re like a pregnant chick. lactating yet? Hahahahhahah UBER-LOL… LOLLING for dummies
MJ: LOL the beloved country
Azra: LOL, where’s my car?
MJ: LOL we Met
Azra: LOL of the Caribbean
MJ: LOL of the rings
Azra: A LOL Tale…Kingdom of LOL…The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide to LOL
MJ: we can turn this into a lame post ;)


  1. I dunno whether to feel sorry for noojie baby or what sometimes! *smacks head*

  2. You should have an 'R' rating on this blog!!

  3. Lol you encouraged the neighbour to poison her inlaws and she actually considered it!

  4. Barbie shoes are the bain of fathers worldwide. Middle of the night, hidden in the carpet is a stiletto heel Barbie shoe, heel pointing up.

    They feel like you stepped on the point of an ice pick and often embed themselves. Girls never step on them. I can't understand why - it's just the way it is.

  5. MJ - We know :D

    Zahera - I feel sorry for Noojie :D

    Arslan - The language lol..its all just talk. Ramadaan is coming up, and I guess everyone will be putting their muzzles on the bad language.

    WIP - lol, I was being facetious and she really was considering it, thats what made it so funny. Where've you been hiding lady? What are you up to? How was the exam etc? Let us know...or email me.

    LL - I laughed so much when I read this because I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I've had those tiny barbie shoes (more like daggers) embedded in the soles of my feet one too many times too :D

  6. again! why are you two ganging up on me. you should be worried about me. my noojie is a tyrant :D

  7. If she's the tyrant, you're the dictator. Oh what a pair you make :D