Tuesday, 23 February 2010

Tying Up Loose Ends

My life has just been absolutely insane over the past few weeks and it seems like everything’s just happening all at once. It started when my ex-boss heard that I was looking for a job and asked me to help him out temporarily because he’s short staffed (he needed someone he can “trust and rely on”, I’m flattered that he thinks that person is me). I obliged, unaware of what was waiting for me. So I spend hours out in the field on lengthy arduous investigations, putting pieces of information together, gathering evidence, etc. It’s a lot of work and a very stressful environment and I was quickly reminded of why I left in the first place… this lovely lady knows exactly what I’m talking about.

I initially wanted to move overseas this year… it’s still a toss between Alexandria, Egypt or Tunis, Tunisia at the end of May… but that’s been put on hold for now. Even so, I’ve decided to wrap things up on my end in case I decide to leave. I’ve had to shop for an adequate University to transfer to, boy what a mission but I think I’ve found a suitable candidate. And all the research projects I’ve been involved in (four in total from two different universities nogal, I really have to stop being such a masochist) have to be either concluded or reassigned to other members. So I have to write up four bloody papers (which I sorely doubt I’ll complete in time). I’ve also been asked to present a paper at the annual International Conference on Information Management and Evaluation (ICIME 2010) at UCT in March but fuck that, I’m not super-woman.

In addition, I’ve been looking to simplify this blog too… I need less clutter and more pretty-ness. And BDB? Well, he takes up a considerable amount of my day-dreaming time since he left for the USA for two weeks on a work assignment (and yeah, I’ll finish the story soon).

Then there are other so-called issues I’ve decided to address because I’m tired of listening to stories from people who mean well, but really should learn to stop gossiping and carrying tales. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t even deem this worthy enough for two seconds of my precious time, but while I’m cleaning out the closets, I might as well. I left adolescence almost a decade ago and I’m really not keen on going back there… but it seems that not everyone shares my sentiment. Let me tell you a quick story…

The summer before I turned 16, I had a small group of friends and one day, while we were on holiday together, one of my best friends and I had an altercation over how to use the steam iron. It was trivial and insignificant but it just so happened that on that particular day she was in a bad mood and she snapped at me for whatever reason, and I retaliated. Anyways, in less than a week we sorted out the matter and were fine, but a strange thing happened amongst our other friends staying with us. Most of them felt the need to pick sides and get all angry and involved in our fight…adding their 2 cents here and there. In the meantime, we had already resolved our issues and moved on, but had to deal with shit from everyone else sticking their noses into an issue that had nothing to do with them.

Interestingly enough, I find history repeating itself. Now if there are two things that really fuck me off; one would be two-faced bitches and the other would be people who stick their noses into my business when it does not concern them. I’ve chosen to speak generally, out of courtesy, targeting a specific group of people… not because I’m afraid to call them out on their shit… not at all. If there is one thing I’m not afraid of, it’s confrontation. In fact, I’d be too happy to name and shame every single one of them (and I will if it continues) but not today. Today I’ll be courteous…

First off, I don’t tell people what they can or can’t say on Facebook or Twitter. But I constantly find some or other fucker telling me what I can or cannot say. That shit has come to an end and “block” has become my new favourite button (I don’t even know some of them, my fault for giving morons the benefit of the doubt). Secondly, I don’t go around to people’s blogs and then make arbitrary comments about their crappy stories, or their mind-numbingly boring ambiguous poetry because I respect the fact that even though I may not appreciate some of their work, it’s important to them and other’s do. I don’t go around identifying people suffering from eminem-tourettes where the ability to write only comes when it involves slagging off someone else. So I get mildly annoyed when people think that they can do that to me.

But what I find most amusing about some of these people is the hypocrisy and the complete lack of any kind of backbone because if they were to be confronted, they’d cower away like the spineless bastards they are. Add to that, I CANNOT RESPECT YOU OR TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU’RE DIRECTING COMMENTS INTO THIN AIR. I fucking hate people who don’t have the decency to address any issues they have with me directly, and feel it necessary to go all schizophrenic on their computers (well it’s a little funny actually because they look like fucking lunatics).

What most people have to understand is that this here is MY blog. I will say whatever I damn well please. I don’t need anyone’s approval or validation. The fact that I come here and share a part of my life; or that I may have spoken to some of you a couple of times online DOES NOT MEAN that you know me. YOU. DON’T. KNOW. ME. You may think you do, but you know fuck-all when it comes to me. You only know those parts of me and my life that I want you to know… that I choose to disclose.

I blog for my own amusement because I enjoy writing and documenting my life as it plays out, for my own personal records. I’m not here clamouring for attention or consent. I’m not interested in making this a career and I don’t come here with the intention to create some “literary masterpiece”. I’m not looking for fame or glory because I am enough. Your approval or critique is neither desired nor required. This is MY page and I have the right to state how I feel and what I think etc. I’ve never cared about what people had to say before, and I’m not about to start now. Maybe I should write a sonnet called “How do I NOT care? Let me count the ways”… maybe then it will sink in. Unlike most people, I’m not just a talker.

Your presence here is a PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT. And if you cannot respect that then kindly fuck off and don’t return. I’m not holding a gun to anyone’s head. You’re not paying my rent or doing me any favours.

I do not take kindly to two-faced bitches. Do not for one minute think that you can go behind my back and chomp on my flesh, then come and act like my friend in front of my face… it does not work like that. You obviously do not know me. And for the one who actually does know me… you’d want to think long and hard about making an enemy out of me, because I know too damn much about you for you to be that stupid.

I’ve had enough of this petty inane behaviour from people who are supposedly “educated” and “open-minded” but obviously aren’t and have no fucking lives. I’m an adult (and a very busy one at that) and I choose to deal with issues by confronting them not hiding in corners talking to myself like a bunch of school-girls on crack. Again, I cannot acknowledge, let alone respect, anyone who can’t even approach me with their issues like normal human beings and will instead sit in their corners making their own assumptions. If you cannot respect me enough to address your issues with me directly, then get the fuck out of my life, it’s as simple as that.

If I cannot relate to or identify with the material, if I don’t have anything that I’d deem to be helpful for the person, if I have nothing good or inspirational to say, I refrain from making any commentary. If I have issues or something to say, I have no problem approaching the matter and dealing with it. I don’t fight with the air around me. Grow up.

It’s a brand new day people and I’ve already begun getting rid of all the filth, negativity and hypocrisy. I don’t have time for childish shit and I won’t tolerate it either. My life is too good to be contaminated by human sewerage. As for the tattle-tales, enough stories, I’m not interested and you don’t want to be eating rotten swine, it’s Haraam.

I’d like to go back to swooning now thanks.

For those who have too much time on their hands, take a lesson from this passage I wrote some time ago… ironically, it seems to be quite apt today. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be worthy adversaries.

It’s a brand new day indeed.

“The Art of War”
I believe that it’s important to be able to defend yourself in any situation, regardless of the outcomes. But I also believe that not every battle is worth fighting especially when the merits of such a ‘battle’ is based on juvenile, trivial matters and does not even warrant the irritation one would get from a paper cut. Now I have very specific rules and principles when it comes to War and since most humans love to imitate animals, I thought I’d explain some aspects in ecological terms, for better comprehension:


When you know who you are and you love, value and respect yourself, you’ll always come first. You’re the reigning King of your Jungle. A lion or lioness. A pioneer. A leader and a hunter. You don’t follow the masses, you seek the truth through knowledge. Your self-worth allows you to harness your personal power, realise your full potential and makes you aware of what you’re capable of. You’re not looking for validation and acceptance from anyone else. You’re also not intimidated by anyone else either. And with this type of confidence comes a sense of fearlessness, because you know that no matter what happens, you’ll always triumph.


Now, very very few people possess this kind of confidence and you’ll always find someone who’s threatened by you. In some people, their insecurities will manifest into a false bravado and they’ll try to provoke you, or pick a fight and try to push your buttons because they feel that they have something to prove. In their minds, bringing you down will make them feel better about their pathetic lives and give them that self-worth that’s so obviously lacking. But the reality is that self-worth comes from within and while they try to goad you in a number of amusing ways, they don’t realise that nothing they say can upset you…because you know you’re the King!

If you look close enough, you’ll find that most people are transparent, easy to read and very predictable. A staggering 99.5% are afraid of confrontation. Now being confident and fearless and taking from your experiences on the battlefield, you’re more than capable of confronting your opponent, giving you a significant advantage over most. You’ve made a point of learning all the lessons from those previous experiences. You watch. You observe, like a real hunter. Never interrupt your enemy while they’re making mistakes, tactics Salahuddin used to win the war against the crusaders in 1187. The weaknesses and flaws of your opponent are easily identifiable and quite apparent.


In war, discipline can do more than fury. This is the most important rule of War because most of the time, you’ll come to see that your opponent is nothing but a monkey in wolf’s clothing that hides behind a rock, throwing banana’s in your direction, trying to get your attention. And more often then not, this so-called opponent will have other chimps and weasels encouraging him/her, because every absurdity has a champion that will defend it. They’ll be the ones hiding behind his/her back, because they don’t have the gumption to be upfront with you, may also feel like they have something to prove or enjoy the drama. A lot of conflict or antagonistic behavior is a direct result of jealousy. Maybe the monkey and his/her crew secretly think that you’re better than them, and then they start thinking that YOU think that you’re better them, and resent you for it.

Now you know you’re out of their league, they are simply no match for you. Lions do not fight with monkeys and weasels. Fighting with a monkey makes you look like one too, and spectators can’t tell the difference. But the challenge drives and excites them and they long for a reaction from you. So they’ll make sinister comments disguised as jokes so their intentions are not completely apparent to the general public; or maybe they’ll gossip about you because while great minds discuss ideas and average minds discuss events, small minds tend to discuss people; or maybe they’ll even do things trying to provoke that reaction out of you…because you’re THAT important and special.

But the most fascinating thing about the monkey and his/her minions is that when they are confronted, they will backtrack so fast you’ll think you imagined it, because that’s what spineless bastards do. And then they will tell the most elaborate lies to try and cover up whatever shit they were trying to sell, because they’re pathological like that. But the Lions are too intelligent for them. They know everything and usually have loads of fun watching them squirm under the spotlight.

One of Machiavelli’s rules of war is to always be honest, people won’t know if you’re telling the truth or not. Joan of Arc revealed her plan in great detail to a soldier from the opposing army. He wasted no time in reporting it to his superiors, but they dismissed the information and regarded it as false. They reckoned that no one in their right mind would reveal their strategies, not in a war, and so planned their attack contrary to the information they received and she defeated them in battle.

So it’s all thoroughly amusing to you and you find that you have to refrain from laughing so hard that you’re about to pee in your pants; because firstly as the Lion, you know that at least three of the minions from the monkey’s camp play both sides in the Jungle and can’t be trusted. Secondly, you can’t fight a monkey that doesn’t even have the decency to address any issues he/she has with you upfront because he/she doesn’t have the balls.

But most importantly, the monkey has NO resources...and with the exception of those few bananas that he/she throws in your direction for your attention every now and then and the few chimps and weasels supporting his/her cause, there is absolutely no substance there. But as the King of the Jungle, you have your entire pack to count on as well as other formidable allies in the animal kingdom, giving you immense power and capabilities. So in essence, it would not be a fair fight. It’s like expecting Optimus Prime to fight with a calculator…not even a scientific calculator…but those free calculators you get on promotion from BP when you fill your tank.

The truth is that Lions do not have the time to pursue fruitless petty grievances with monkeys, chimps and weasels because they’re engaged in the huge epic note-worthy battles with jackals, deviant panthers and even the lesser of the lot, the hyena’s. And holding the title of King means that apart from going to War and fighting the real battles, you actually have a life and you’re more invested in your plans for world dominance, raking in the cash and looking good for that potential one that will share your title of Ruler. Forget inane paltry matters.


Occasionally, you’ll encounter real enemies – not the ones playing Mickey Mouse games – and you’ll have to deal with them accordingly. The best physical way to defeat an enemy is through their pockets. If you can build a solid case, nothing hurts as much as having to pay out of their arses. Too many people are under the false impression that to defeat the enemy, you have to use physical brute force. This is not the 1500’s. Torture is only reserved for cheating spouses or people allergic to pain.

In reality, there are thousands of ways to annihilate your opponents without even touching a single hair on their heads…the severity of each varying in degrees. Death is never an option for an enemy. Why would you want to send them to heaven by making them martyrs? No, instead you have to evaluate and ascertain what is important to them, as well as what are their weaknesses and insecurities. Maybe it’s their reputations, or their careers, or their BMW’s…but everyone values something. Family member’s, spouses and significant others’ are not recommended, unless you have no morals or scruples. Known tactics include everything from wrecking their cars to having them framed for child molestation, fraud or murder so that they can rot in jail for 25 years with no parole.

The ULTIMATE way to defeat your enemy and guarantee your triumph is to enlist the help of The Almighty, because there is NOTHING that you can do to your opponent, that God won’t do a million times better. Karma is a bitch my friend.


“There is nothing as likely to succeed as what the enemy believes you cannot attempt.” Never start wars, but always make sure that you end them. If you find yourself on the receiving end of an attack, assess the situation. If necessary, call in your allies. If it’s just another monkey, you can be extremely flattered at your importance. It’s nothing to get too upset over because they do make for entertaining viewing and when you’re with your pack, around the fire after a delicious meal, you can laugh heartily at their stupidity. Who needs theatre.

*Additions to original post


  1. Hey...my poetry is cool okay! *stomping my feet*

  2. Scary Azra :-P how fast do you type?!!?

    Anyway- whats with everyone going to Egypt?? its like the new Syria or something. Tunisia is GORGEOUS!!! the beaches, the sea... its just wonderful! just the men are pervy!

  3. T - Yeah its cool, for you ;)

    Zahera - I type like 1200 words a minute LOL, just kidding. I would have went to Morrocco but to work there you really need to be able to speak French... not so much in the other countries. I basically want to live around the Mediterreanean for a while and learn Arabic while I can.

    Blue - Thanks. I know you can relate ;)

  4. Dude, I will happily bitch slap anyone messing with ya if you just update me on the boy :P


    He's gone for 2 weeks! Umm hello BDB, you're not allowed, it's too soon.

  5. Rise and shineeee AZRAAAAA :-D today is yesterdays "tomorrow" so you know what that means..

    They speak french in Tunisia too- but yeh i guess it would also be a good place to learn Arabic. What kinda employment would you go into though??

  6. LOL! LOL! LOL! Zahera and Shameema!

  7. Oh yeah, and Zahera...apparently in Tunisia they're less rigid about speaking in English then they are in Morrocco (work wise). In Morrocco French is almost mandatory, in Tunisia it's an advantage.

    I'm thinking of applying to some American or British companies that may operate in these cities. Or maybe I'll just take a break and teach English...

    But we'll see how things go ;)