This is for the ladies… the men too, but more for the ladies.
The absolute truth is that men and women are different. In other words, they are NOT the same. They do not think the way we do, they do not feel the way we do, our needs and requirements are different, and most important of all… they do not process emotions the way we do. If I had GB£1 for every time I came across a woman who has complained about her husband or significant other in terms of the nature of their relationship, I’d be sleeping in Buckingham Palace, that’s for sure.
The biggest mistake most women make is assuming that what is important for us, is equally important to men and the most common example would be with regard to emotions. Women, we are emotional creatures. It’s the one genotype that’s a given within the female species and it’s what makes us the nurturers of the eco-system. This characteristic extends to all facets of a female’s life including relationships, where women express their love for their partners through their emotions.
Now men are different. Men are rarely emotional and more pragmatic and naturally detached. By nature, they’re the hunters, they don’t have time to sit and cower in corners crying their eyes out (well most of them anyway there is an exception, especially with men who love to whine and
are act like bitches women). So (real) men are therefore more visual and physical in nature and like women, these characteristics extend to the way they express themselves and their love for their partners too.
So at the core, most men and women “love” each other differently… but this does not mean that it’s not real love. If he gives her apples and she gives him pears... it’s all fruit darling.
To most women, “loving” a man means talking about it… but the problem is that “talking” is not in the genetic makeup of some men. To most men, “loving” a woman means pleasing her physically… but the problem is that if she is not emotionally satisfied, nothing else will do.
The way I see it, the trick is to decipher how your partner chooses to express his / her “love” and accept them the way they are.
Men should accept that if they’re not kind and engaging, women are going to have headaches. Constant headaches. Every day. Huge mofo migraines the size of Texas, for the rest of your lives together.
And it’s very important for women to accept that most men won’t want to explore their emotions in iambic pentameter… not because they don’t want to but because they can’t. They’re not wired that way.
The biggest issues between couples arise when they don’t accept each other for who they are, have unrealistic expectations, or loose respect for one another. I’ve seen too many women who knew EXACTLY who their partners were before they got married, married them anyway, and then spent every single day from then on complaining about it.
So I may be wrong here, but I think that sometimes acceptance goes a long way. Let your man be who he is (unless your marriage is suffering because of who he is, for example, he’s a drug addict and you didn’t know). Let him express his emotions and love for you the way he knows how, and try to accept and appreciate it for what it is without trying to change him and wanting him to become who you want him to be… just so that 20 years down the line, after all the changes you’ve made, you can complain that he’s not the man you married ;)