Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Coz 29 is just another number...

Twenty Nine is the ugliest number under 30. It's so arbitrary. And stupid. Think about it, you can't divide it equally, you can't multiply any two numbers to give you 29 and it's not the square root of anything. It's the most un-important number in the 20's, completely pointless and utterly useless. Nothing substantial or important ever came from the number 29. It's like the black sheep of the number family.

If I had it my way I'd be 25 years old until I turned 30. Thanks to certain OCD tendencies, I like rounding off my numbers see. But in the grander scheme of things, it doesn't really matter innit. I could never quantify what 29 tumultuous years on this earth has taught me. As I've mentioned before, I've learned more in these 29 years than most people will ever learn in their entire lifetimes. And I still learn every day.

For me, 29 brings an acute sense of things, a deeper understanding, broader perceptions, more clarity and a level of maturity in my everyday life that surprises me quite often. And in many ways I feel like I've paid my dues. Twenty nine years of digging through life's trenches, facing my fears, making mistakes, learning from them, learning from other's mistakes, going to hell and back at least three times... yes I've paid my dues. I didn't get here by accident. Everything I've learned over the years came with a heavy price... and the more valuable the lesson, the heavier the price.

That's not to say that there isn't more out there... more to learn, more to life and more growing pains to suffer. We live and learn, every single day, at every single age.

In addition, 29 has brought an avalanche of long-awaited, tangible and significant changes to my life. I guess in many ways, life as I knew it will never be the same again.

I initially wanted to celebrate with a cake in the shape of a coffin or casket. I thought it would be great to have everyone dress in mourning black and give a eulogy on the 29 years that were... a fitting way to say goodbye to my misspent youth and all those years searching, reflecting, analysing, drowning, agonising, wanting, losing, triumphing, obsessing, yearning, fighting... but I didn't have the time to prepare and for now I'm content to just BE.

I'm also grateful for everything in my life: the good, the bad and the ugly because every single thing has been instrumental in the evolution of Azra. And like I've said before, there's no one else I'd rather be.

Getting older does have it's disadvantages though. Most females have to worry about frown lines and wrinkles and sagging boobs and gaining weight... and we have to make certain not-so-wonderful alterations to our lifestyles to accommodate these changes... like substituting this:

For this:

But I must say that the absolute worst thing about getting older is that innate overwhelming desire for one of these:

For most women, it's a biological process that we can't escape. It is completely uncontrollable and the yearning is almost deafening. I will never look at eggs the same way again.

But for the most part, aging definitely has it's perks. I'm in a better place physically, mentally, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually, then I've ever been before. It's even better than last year. I'm like a fine wine... like Brie de Meaux, I just get better with age (not knowing anything about wine or smelly cheeses, I'll just have to take the experts' word on that).

So here's to an endless harvest of all that is tranquil and serene, and a lifetime of harmonious contented BEING. And cake... can't have a birthday without cake now can we...


  1. The best years are ahead of you, Miss Azra. That wise old bird Confucius said: At 15, I set my heart on learning, at 30 I know where I stand, at 40 I have no more doubts, at 50 I know the will of Heaven...

  2. Happy bday...may Allah grant you many more years of growing, learning and living, maturing, and benefitting others.

  3. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon.
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  4. Crikey. That salad looked better than those chocolate coated crumpets.

    Maturity here I come!
    (And there I wave goodbye as I flee past it...)

    Anyways, dear, happy birthday:)
    Remember. It's good to smile and be happy, but you have to do it like that nivea ad so you don't get crinkly eye lines.

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Even though 29 is not so important to you... it is to us, so Happy Birthday!!! After all this crazyness, we need to seriously P A R T Y....cause we gotta!!

  7. Happy Birthday!! :)

    I hope you have the most awesome cake ever!

  8. ...and may you continue to keep on learning and observing the world around you. ;)

  9. P.S. Your blog is totally my favorite, but shhhh don't tell anyone.

  10. hey hey Happy Birthday :) May your wisdom only increase and with that may all your hearts desires come true insha-allah!
    For the record, I loved 29 :)

  11. Happy to You :)...May the Almighty grant you many more wonderful ones.

  12. oh happy birthday! Hope its everything you wish for it to be.

    Love that coffin cake idea :D

  13. I hate being 29. A few days prior to my birthday I drafted a post on why I was dreading turning 29. Then on my birthday I was out covering a protest, ended up running from bullets & tear gas & police, & my age didn't matter. I was just happy to be where I am in my life.

    But now it's hit me again. I'm 29. And I feel this urge to be all that I can possibly be, to hold on to every moment of this final year in my twenties.

    May you have an awesome year, & may life's past lessons mean the road ahead will be far easier.

    & here's to finding someone who'll be a perfect father & husband.

  14. happy birthday azra! May the years ahead be blessed with nutella abundance.

  15. My life would be nothing but a black velvet sky if it wasn't for all the little stars (you ladies and gents) shining through it ;)

    Mr GB - Thank you for those wise words and I really hope for better years to look forward to :)

    dreamlife - Thanks and Ameen! We have no purpose if we can't learn and spread the knowledge.

    chhipa - Ok.

    pserean - Thanks hun. Those Nutella loaded flapjacks were DIVINE =D The salad wasn't too bad either ;)

    Trinity - I don't know if I'll have the energy to part, but yeah we can try ;P

    Michi - Thank you, you're such a sweetheart :D The cake was more like little cupcakes but they were delicious. And I like your blog so much that I don't even want to tell anyone about it because then it would mean that I would have to "share" you with someone else I might know and I tend to be possessive over the things and people I love. Now how WHACKED is that? Yes totally psychotic, I know ;D

    nk - Aw thanks hun :) And ameen to all your duas!

    Princess - Thank you, and ameen! :)

    CH - Thanks! I pitched the idea to my mom and she just looked at me with a glare that said "I don't have time for your shit" LOL!

    bb-aisha - And we're all glad that you came out of the Egyptian revolt unscathed and unharmed! Thanks for your wishes and duas. I understand everything you're going through. It's kinda bitter-sweet. And yes, I agree... I don't necessarily want a man that's perfect - as long as he's perfect for ME :)

    fathima - Thank you! Ah Nutella - one of life's simple pleasures. If people only knew how easy it is to make me happy ;)

  16. Happy Birthday Azra.

    Sorry for the belated message. HOpe you had an awesome day and best wishes for the year ahead.

    Reading your post made me realise that the no 29 is around the corner for me too and just like you, I dont really like it very much.

    But lets embrace it and hope to an awesome year....

    Lotsa luv

  17. Look at it this way: You can claim 29 for the rest of your life most women do. The only difference is that THIS year it will be true.

    Happy Birthday

  18. I'm 29...I'll take it over the fast approaching 30 any day...

  19. Happy birthday!
    Don't worry
    it gets better........... believe me!

  20. Blue - Thank you. And yes I agree, we should embrace life and maybe it will embrace us back ;)

    LL - Haha. It's funny how many women do that... "vanity, my favourite sin". Older women are sexier though I think.

    geekiS - I actually think that we're in our prime in our thirties. My boss told me he was in his prime at 40... I guess its really up to how you FEEL :)

    Elizabeth - Thank you! I'm ready and looking forward to those better days ;D

  21. Happiest birthday!

    P.S. Where can I get those crumpets? :P

  22. A very very happy belated birthday to you!
    May this new year in your life bring you happiness, laughter and joy.
    All the very best!

  23. I'd been away fro blogging and blog reading for a while and now I am back. And reading yours was reading a rare book that I had been meaning to read for a long time. As usual your posts are terrific and I admire the way you wield words to create such delectable sentences.

    Hope this year is filled with excitement, wonder and marvel. At 29 if you can be this brilliant and amazing I wonder what you would be in the next 10 years!

    Good Luck!

  24. sady - Thanks! Well, I made those crumpets and you can come and get some at my house :D

    Nas - Thank you for the wishes. And thanks for the blog award. I'm really flattered ;)

    mikimbizi - Thank you lovely lady for all your kind words and your wishes. I'm blessed to know equally talented and amazing people like you :)

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