Thursday, 21 April 2011

Coz we share...

By now, most people know how much I love writing letters. A few months ago I came across this site, Dear Blank Please Blank, and it had me chuckling for hours. I need a laugh today, so I thought I'd share some of my favourites:

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.
Sincerely, Spiders

Dear Voldemort,
So they screwed up your nose too?
Sincerely, Michael Jackson

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely, Google

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely, BP

Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely, 1985

Dear Justin Bieber,
Ariel would really love her voice back.
Sincerely, King Triton

Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
Sincerely, Jack

Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Taylor Swift,
If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves in the end.
Sincerely, Shakespeare

Dear Soccer Fans,
B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z
Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!
Sincerely, Vuvuzelas

Dear Rubik's Cube,
Done!
Sincerely, Colorblind

Dear Santa,
Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.
Sincerely, Tiger Woods

Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream... What now?
Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio

Dear Sleeping Beauty,
I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and totally save China for my man.
All you had to do was wake up.
Sincerely, Mulan

Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear Toaster,
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?
Sincerely, Toast

Dear Edward,
I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.
Sincerely, a stake

Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you guys do some pretty nasty things.
Sincerely, 7

Dear Prince Charming,
You've got some explaining to do!
Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

8 comments:

  1. I used to be obsessed with dearblankpleaseblank.
    So much so, i knew all of these by heart. :P

    You should know you're officially my favourite blogger.
    Simply,
    because you always have something to say.
    Your blog is always updated.
    And you're totally awesome.
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. Azra!

    lol. so much for damon salavatore.
    *erk*

    ReplyDelete
  3. Suppose we modified the JK Rowling letter to "Your boobs are entirely unrealistic". Who would we send it to? We'd be spoiled for choice!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks so much for sharing this site. I just had the time of my life laughing my ass off.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahahaha!!

    "Dear Rose,
    There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.
    Sincerely, Jack"

    When I was 13, I was totally convinced that Rose really didn't want Jack to live. That raft WAS pretty big. Actually, I am still convinced about this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. NG - The site is hilarious. I'm so flattered and honoured by your comments Miss. Thank you for reading all my crap ;)

    pserean - I love Damon anyways :D

    Mr. GB - Haha. We could start with just about everyone in Hollywood.

    mikimbizi - It's my pleasure and I'm glad to have given you a means to laughter, the best medicine on earth. I still laugh at some of the older jokes.

    Michi - I have to agree with you. I thought so myself when I watched the movie back in 1997. I would have fought tooth and nail to get my loved one right there next to me. I even thought that she should have sat up with her legs crossed. But no, she had to lie there and be the damsel *sigh* ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The letter from the toast to toaster had me in stitches. Hilarious stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I LOVE this site too, so I knew most of em...but had a good laugh all over again.
    The raft was indeed HUGE, I was like wth when I watched it and I must have been about 7. -shakes head-

    ReplyDelete