Thursday, 2 June 2011

Coz we have failed but live in hope that Gaga isn't lactose intolerant...

There was a mighty ruckus here in South Africa a couple of weeks ago. One of our comedians, a one Riaad Moosa (who happens to be a practicing Muslim), decided to do a skit where he parodied Osama bin Laden on what can be described as our local equivalent of Saturday Night Live. The skit divided Muslims in SA, some finding it terribly offensive basically calling it an attack on Islam; while other's didn't see it as such and fought to defend Riaad and his art. I won't go into details as this blogger already addressed the issue.

Now, we're all entitled to our own opinions on this... but seeing as this is my blog, here's mine: I'm forever in awe of people who veer towards fanatical extremes when it comes to Islam because it is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what Islam stands for. That said, I did not find anything wrong with Riaad Moosa's skit, no matter what our local so-called Islamic authorities have to say including *wink-wink-cough* Radio Islam ... because this is the same radio station that fell short of calling the Soccer World Cup Haraam (forbidden), yet most of their staff members allegedly had front row tickets to the grand opening.

People have to keep in mind that Osama bin Laden was not our Prophet (SAW) and He was not Allah SWT. He was in fact a rebel and if he was indeed responsible for all the terrorist attacks as he supposedly claimed, then he was a murderer too. Everything behind his cause had NOTHING to do with Islam. It was purely political and stemmed from his personal gripes, dissatisfaction and disgust with the politics within the Saudi Government. It is just like the Crusades... religion was used or mis-used to further a political agenda. Geez, people learn absolutely nothing from History!

I do not believe in celebrating his death, or mourning it. Instead I believe that we should mourn the millions of people that had to die for the personal agendas of a few power hungry, greedy men. We should instead sit back, reflect and ask ourselves how have we as a society, as a nation, have FAILED in that we have allowed such atrocities to occur. We have to ask ourselves what have we done wrong, that we have unconsciously fed fanatical extremism and bred this monster called Terrorism that is essentially the epitome of ANTI-Islamic practices. (Not just in Islam mind, every religion, culture and nation has it's whack-jobs).

There is no "Islam" in Al-Qaeda. All that they have ever done for the Muslims was make the world a difficult place for us to live in, so now we have to be subjected to discrimination, interrogation, abuse and ludicrous processes and questionnaires just to acquire a Visa: "please provide details of all your trips abroad in the last 10 years". Seriously?!? You want to know every single place I went to in the last 10 years?! Are you fucking kidding me? They have desecrated our religion. They have taken something that is beautiful, pure and perfect and fucked it up royally. All in the name of God. Well my friends, even the Devil can cite scripture for his cause.

Speaking of the Devil. Apparently, Lady Gaga is in the dog box again. It seems that most of the world didn't take too kindly to her references to Jesus and Judas in one of her latest songs, emphatically titled "Judas". Gaga's depictions of Jesus and Judas as well as the events that led up to (and occurred during) The Last Supper in the video didn't go down too well either. I guess most folk found it blasphemous, sacrilegious and offensive and felt that she had gone too far in her attempts at artistic expression.

What most Christians don't realise is that we (Muslims) love Jesus too. He was one of our prophets and we revere him as one of God's messengers. And personally, I don't believe in mocking any religion, God Himself or any of God's prophets. People may have their free reign to ridicule, scorn and jeer at their leisure in every other sector of society, just leave God out of it. That's always been my position.

However, I do understand what Gaga is saying in the song. She's singing about an ex-lover of hers that continually betrays her, but that she can't help but love him... he's her personal Judas. At the same time, she makes a subtle reference to the overwhelming contradictions that exist in society; how people go around and claim to love God, yet they continually betray Him and His command.

She's a clever girl, that Gaga. I've said so before and I believe it. The way she uses her artistic mind to draw symbolic and relevant parallels between different subject matters is unprecedented in the industry. She is a true artist.

But I do believe that she should leave God and any religious references out of that artistic expression. The same goes for every artist... it's called respect. By all means go ahead and make a parody out of just about everything, but leave God alone. He is, after all, the entire reason that all of us are alive and breathing right at this very minute. You don't ever want to bite the hand that feeds you.

Speaking of food. I reckon that Lady Gaga should instead concentrate her efforts on that wonderful gastronomical appetite of hers. Seeing that she has already conquered the meat market with her eye for haute couture carnivorous, I would suggest that she do the responsible nutritional thing and work her way through all her food groups. She could start with dairy... cheese in particular. And she's just in luck since a group of fashion and textile students at Bath Spa University set out to design a "Cheese Couture" collection in her honour. The outfits also come with "Jimmy Cheese" shoes and handbags.
Bring out the crackers I say.

And because I'm feeling so philanthropic, I'd even help her re-write some of those songs:

"I wanna love you, but something's pulling me away from you, Jesus CHEESES is my virtue & Judas GOOUDA is the demon I cling to". 

That's my version and with my potty mouth, I could work under a pseudonym. Sincerely, Lady Kaka.


  1. I don't think Osama would have minded that parody, he didn't seem like a man who worried too much about his reputation. I'm sure Lady Gaga is as sharp as a knife, but does that make her a musician? I suspect she'd write better tunes if she were an idiot savant.

  2. Lady Gaga needs to cover herself in peanut butter for her next tour - and I'm sure knowing her that it would be organic peanut butter. It would make a point of some sort to somebody somewhere.

    I know, Azra, if she added chunks of chocolate to the peanut butter that she'd sound even better to you ;^)

  3. Or Nutella, but if Azra was there she might as well go in the nude

  4. Enjoyed that video, gonna share it around!

    It's a shame about those people that says football is haram yet somehow front row seats are halal!

  5. PS. How can that video be blasphemous? Some people LOOK to be offended, I think.

  6. Hahahahaha, was that for real?! I dropped off of my chair laughing at your version, and then at the Lady Kaka signature. Madre mía.

    I agree with what you said at the beginning... people should indeed be respectful, but I can't understand why or how religion gets to be so extremist. All religions, at their core, teach kindness, respect, and compassion. So how is it that we continue to use it against one another?

  7. Mr. GB - I think you'll find many people questioning Lady Gaga's merits in the music industry. At the end of the day, she's still controlled by a record company and is a slave to commercialism. She still gets points for originality and being down to earth though.

    Lady T - I feel sick today. Could have been all the cream on the cake this weekend. Think I'm going to stay away from Dairy for a while.

    LL - She could team up with Hershey's and come dressed as a giant Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. At least she'd be edible haha!

    SS - She'd better not dare waste my beloved Nutella like that. I don't think I like the idea of eating Lady Gagatella.

    Lady T - I take that back. There's something about the thought of my beloved Nutella on any part of any female's anatomy in general that makes me permanently nauseas. On the bright side, there's no better diet on the market.

    mezba - It is my opinion that Muslims in general (not all, but a good number of them) like many other formalised groups, get upset over shit. And even when there's a good reason to be upset, they can't seem to handle the situation in a positive manner where the outcome will be good or progressive. Most often they become the stereotypes that people accuse them of being. I guess Émile Durkheim was onto something.

    Michi - I thought of it in the shower... my favourite thinking place :)
    The problem is not religion or God, it's people in general. Everyone want's to be "right" and in their self-righteousness they become intolerant, condescending, discriminatory and unforgiving - ironically, all characteristics that no religion in the world endorses, accepts or condones. This need to be "right" gives them some sort of existential validation. What they don't see or realise is that they eventually allow their ego's to rule their so-called beliefs and hence the act of "worshipping" loses its spirituality and becomes nothing but a political agenda fueled by arrogance and ignorance.