Monday, 30 January 2012

10 reasons why it's better to be a man...

10. You don't have to shave your legs, pluck or wax. In fact, you don't have to know the pain of waxing, ever!

9. You don't have to worry about putting on your face in the morning, or carefully applying mascara with Van Gogh brush strokes while you're stuck in traffic.

8. You don't have to worry about doing your hair. In fact, you don't even have to worry about having hair.

7. You don't have half the chocolate slash carb cravings your female counterparts do.

6. You don't have to worry about housing your boobs in uncomfortable attire called bras.

5. You never have to worry about balancing delicately, like a trapeze artist, on a pair of shoes designed to incapacitate you.

4. You're considered a hero, and not a slave, if you can cook and do the dishes.

3. You won't ever have to worry about PMS, Pre-MS, Post-MS, or any kind of MS at all.

2. You will never have a human being the size of a football crawl out of your groin.

1. You can blame every stupid decision you'll ever make on your dick... because it has a mind of it's own.

I'm sure there are 1000 other reasons but I'd still rather have my dangly bits located on my chest, than in close proximity to someone's kneecap.

19 comments:

  1. Oh man, you beat me to it!! ;P

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  2. Well, the grass always looks greener... as the saying goes!

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  3. We have more pockets in our clothes than women do as well. Always handy.

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  4. Taking off my bra at the end of the day is one of the best feelings ever!

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  5. #2 I will admit, there is nothing we can do to trump it. Now get back to doing the dishes.



    jk...funny list.

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  6. nevermind somebody's kneecap - do you know how terrifying it is to stand around a hyperactive 3 year old who is not afraid to run into things, and whose head aligns perfectly with your groin.

    lords.

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  7. My neighbor may disagree with you regarding point 6. I know this because his wife keeps making fun of it ;)

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  9. 10. Who says you HAVE to shave your legs, pluck or wax? Women do, because they want to be eye candy, which, in turn, is because men used to be in charge and decided woman should be beautiful.
    9. Who says you HAVE to put on a face? Women do, because they want to be eye candy, which, in turn, is because men used to be in charge and decided woman should be beautiful.
    8. Men do worry about their hair, especially about losing it. Women find that SO amusing and should grow bald, too. See what's there to like.
    7. Women crave too many things and blame it on their hormones (cf. your #1).
    6. We don't have boobs to worry about. Ours are called Bellies. Contrary to popular belief, we don't like Bellies. It's just that women allow us to get away with them that we pretend we don't care.
    5. Women are funny creatures, totally obsessed about the way they look. Which has lead me to believe that (a) they are insecure or (b) they are just vain. Where I live, it's freezing and still you see women wearing almost nothing + high heels they obviously can't walk on. We men find that very amusing and would never for a freakin second consider walking on our toes because it looks so good....
    4. Considered a hero by whom? Not just by men... so go figure who's dumb.
    3. True. We worry about other things, like who's gonna repair the roof, fix the plumbing and the car?
    2. If there were a reason for me to believe God exists, this is it, and I'm thankful every day. Of course, you don't HAVE to HAVE a baby.
    1. Our dick is your chocolate.
    0. Good morning to you, too :)

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  10. All I did was read the title, and I was already laughing.

    "A human being...crawl out of your groin." THAT was quite the visual. I had to cross my legs after reading that! And I begrudgingly agree with number 4. D-Man LOVES to brag about how great a cook he is, when he cooks like once or twice a month. I always respond with, "Try cooking EVERYDAY, and then we'll talk, mister."

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  11. "You won't ever have to worry about PMS, Pre-MS, Post-MS, or any kind of MS at all."

    Except you have MS.

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  12. To say nothing about squeezing or squashing your dangly bits! Ouch! But on the whole, I agree: I'd rather be male. And because of that understanding I have an abiding admiration for the fairer sex. Hi Azra!!!!

    Dean
    http://leftcoastguy.com

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  13. If you're a guy, no matter how hideous you look, you can gaze into the mirror in the morning and you'll say to yourself, "hey, I look good!"

    Guys can urinate standing, and though women don't appreciate the luxury (and never will), it's a huge plus.

    Guys are also disarmingly simple when it comes to interpersonal plots. Sometimes it's nice to be clueless. And at the end of the date, our mind shifts to other important things without really wondering what SHE is thinking at this very moment...

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  14. SI
    You had one in the pipeline?

    GB
    Sometimes the grass is indeed greener, mostly because of all the fertilizer and shit on the other side.

    TonyVH
    I do wish I had more pockets. I don't like carrying a handbag.

    Prixie
    I love the bra-less moments. It's like an escape to freedom ;)

    ipenka
    You do dishes? Oh please do visit. Believe me,#2 is not something you want to be able to do ;P

    Irfaan
    I can believe it. And unfortunately, overactive three year olds seem to have multiplied over the years.

    Kaloo5
    I'm assuming his moobs speak louder than words?

    RCB
    We are who we are because some ridiculous men have unrealistic expectations of us. Of course, we don't all adhere to the absurdity that comes with being a woman.
    PS> And you had to mention dicks hahahahaha... you've been reading too much sir.

    Michi
    Exactly! They can brag about their "achievements" when they're doing it every day :)

    Candide
    Yes, but it's not the same as Menstrual Symptoms. You're lucky you don't have any of those.

    LCG
    Hi Dean! I appreciate your kind on most days :)

    LL
    I have to say that I've met my fair share of guys who were way to complicated for my liking. But yeah I would like to believe that most guys are uncomplicated.

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  15. Hahaha sorry about that, stranger. It was early and I couldn't contain myself. You know what they say: a man who's just woken up is bound to speak his mind. Like 'JIKES! Who are you! ... O I didn't recognize your without the make-up.' :)

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  16. Ha ha! So true Azra - Oh and if you are a man staying in looking after your children you're "babysitting" whereas a woman is just looking after her children! Oh... there must be many. But, I concur with the dangly bits being on the chest rather than knee jerk height!

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  17. RCB
    I do wonder how your Angie deals with you in the morning hahaha...

    Juliette
    Yes indeed, there are too many distinctions and double standards. I'd like to meet a woman who's the hero in the kitchen and who "babysits" the kids.

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  18. I don't need to carry a big bag around with only my lipstick in it. :-)
    Or carry a bag that matches my belt and shoes.

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  19. Kenneth
    Haha. Yeah, most of us feel compelled to carry luggage wherever we go!

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