Thursday, 19 April 2012

What's life without a healthy dose of crazy...

We were talking about what it means to be a parent. Out of my 18 students this month there are 2 Engineers, 3 Doctors, a Journalist, a Business Analyst, an Accountant and about 9 students or soon-to-be-students.

Out of all of them, only 3 are parents. So I expressed my concern and doubt at my own parenting potential-slash-skills.

"I just don't think I'm cut out for it", I told them. They all tut-tutted and in their own respective ways, tried to reassure me that I'd be just fine. "I really don't think so guys", I continued.

The ramblings continued and then Ana-Lidia told me that once her two year old son told her over the telephone "I love you Mummy and I miss you". To which Ana-Lidia responded (much to her own surprise) "Why?". The two year old was silent for a moment before replying with a perplexed "I don't know".

We all laughed.

And then I proceeded to tell Ana-Lidia and the class that I'm sure if I had a two year old son who told me "I love you Mummy and I miss you", I'd probably respond with:

"Look here my boy, you're a Liar. But don't worry, it's not your fault because you are genetically programmed to fib your way through life and I love you anyway. And Mummy will fix it by beating that Pathology out of you and I'll make it all right again".

We laughed again for quite some time, before I added: "And then I'll get a pair of handcuffs and every time I go shopping, I'll cuff him to the bicycle rack outside the shop and say 'Wait here, I'm just going in to buy a couple of things'..."

At this point, everyone's faces looked like this...

...which prompted uncontrollable laughter from me. Their reactions eased from shock into nervous laughter before I said "DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I'D DO THAT?!?". And a much more relaxed "Nooo" echoed through the class.

My abilities or lack thereof still remain questionable.


  1. Hah, what sweet students! Maybe you should have told them that you would glue his lips to the window of the supermarket to keep an eye on him. They might have recognised that as a joke!

  2. "I'm just going to buy milk and a couple other items"

    3 hours later...

  3. LOL, I'm glad I'm not the only one with awkward jokes that serve the purpose of entertaining myself, while my students think I'm a nut!

    Last week, I assigned permanent seating in one of my classes because the boys are too rowdy. When I separated two boys in particular (10-yr old boys gossip more than I ever imagined), one of them said in dramatic despair, "Teacher, noooo. Forever?? You'll inflict a huge trauma on me!! You can't separate us - class will be boring!!"

    I threw my head back and laughed. I can only guess they're not used to receiving that sort of response from their other teachers, because their little faces read: "What. the. heck.??"

    I also enjoy telling them that they have an exam every day (even if they don't). Never fails to make them panic. Buahahaha.

  4. Azra, I have no doubts in my mind that you would make a wonderful mother! There are only a few things to watch out for.

    1. Ages 2-18

    2. Their incessant desire for regular meals (greedy greedy kids).

    3. Anything they say. You will wonder why you taught them to speak.

    See that doesn't sound so bad right?

  5. you have such a fun group of student,Azra.
    you'd be a fun mom, and you'd enjoy it once you have your own.
    i've been told its the greatest feeling and job in the world to have and bring up your own kids.
    it must be true cuz most of my mommy friends are not available in my social circle anymore.

  6. You know what, I will react the same way to a kid! If fact, I told S.O if by mistake we happen to have a kid (you know, contraception is not always 100%), it is will entirely his responsibility! I want to have NOTHING to do with children. :-/

  7. Haha! I always find these conversations very uncomfortable - particularly because I'm as certain as one can be about such a thing that I don't want to have kids - and man, people do not like that as an answer!

  8. GB
    Perhaps. Some of them bridge the language divide and actually get my sarcasm... for others it takes some time.

    I know LOL! I thought about that too but I guess it would have been too much for their sensitive hearts.

    I do that too - I always tell them that they have to keep quiet and listen because they will be tested on what's being said. It's the only way they really pay attention.

    Nope, doesn't sound bad at all. Once when I was much younger, I was taking care of my half sister and she kindly reminded me that I had to feed her. She was 3 years old at the time and said "can I have some food please?". I was mortified that I had forgotten that she needs to eat. I assumed that because I wasn't hungry, she wouldn't be either. It was quite funny.

    My students said the same thing. One of them actually said that if I had a son, he would love me to death and I'd make him laugh a lot. I thought it was one of the sweetest compliments I've ever received.

    Sometimes I feel the same way... but then I remember that hormones have a way of overpowering the rational mind and controlling us emotionally. Only time will tell.

    It's true that its an answer that many people can't fathom. But everyone is different and entitled to their own opinions.

  9. I'm sure some guys out there would want you to be their Mommy... I mean with the handcuffs and all, but I think you know best (1) whether or not you were telling them the truth when you said you weren't cut out to be a mother AND (2) if you are or aren't cut out to be a good Mom. You are the only one who really knows. Everyone else is just projecting. I'm not cut out to be a father. I just don't want the responsibility and I don't think babies are cute. Strange but true. I've ever tried to find babies cute, but to no avail....

  10. Ha! handcuff your kid to the railings! wherever do you get these ideas. However, I think ALL boys should be handcuffed ;)

  11. Bonjour Azurah,

    When reading some comments on Tazeen blog "A reluctant mind" I read yours and clicked on your name.

    Yes, you have something in common with her worldview in spite of your very different surroundings. You are certainly better off in South Africa than she is in shitty, fanatic Pakistan.

    Keep on being a bit sarcastic and in the end you will find the guy you are looking for, even if he doesn't correspond to the list you gave previously. I remarked - by the way - you didn't mention anything about religion. Another taboo??


  12. Tony VH
    Thanks for the *ahem* compliment. Haha!

    Honestly Randy, only time will tell. I can say I'd be a horrid Mother at this point in time. That may change in the future - I don't rule out anything.

    I agree, most guys need to be handcuffed ;) I can't stand unruly undisciplined kids and that's what I always imagine I'd do to them lol!

    Bonjour Monsieur! And Bienvenue.
    Regarding religion... it's quite a touchy subject no matter who you bring it up with. Everyone has their opinions and beliefs on what is wrong or right and many people either share or do not share my views on what Islam really is. That said, I have learnt that it would be better to focus on myself and what kind of person I am and the kind of person I would like to be, then to concern myself with the opinions and beliefs of others including my future partner. To each his own and God for All. Live and let live, I say. Thanks for stopping by :)

  13. That's right. Time will tell. Sometimes time tells us a bit too much, wouldn't you say?