Wednesday, 18 July 2012

In a crazy world, only morons outlive the roaches...

So, I have been busier than usual lately. Work has fired up since Barclays and HSBC's misdemeanors have come into the spotlight and basically, we're all under intense scrutiny because when something big happens in an industry that affects other people, someone's got to pay.

It's like the whole sinking Cruise Liner Incident all over again. Ship hit a rock off the coast off Italy because the Captain was too busy snogging his mistress to pay attention to the co-ordinates, and then suddenly every other Cruise Liner was put on red alert to ensure they don't fall victim to the same mistake.

On top of that, I have an aunt, great aunt and great uncle who are gravely ill... all different ailments, different hospitals. Add a recently diagnosed cousin and another close cousin with swelling on the brain and you have a family running around like headless chickens, in desperate need of VIP parking at every hospital in Johannesburg - that or free shares in the Healthcare Industry. Everyone is handling this surprisingly well. Just this evening my aunt offered me a cigarette - said she's only doing it coz she's dying.

And as if that's not enough, throw in a couple of weddings, pending divorce, family arguments and bickering and suddenly just being in this family is a full time job with it's own toxic stress levels.

So yeah, I've been busy.

And when I'm this busy, I don't have time for shit which, through nature's law of Murphy, always comes at the most inappropriate time. And this time, it came through Facebook. 

See, I was minding my own business as I'm prone to do and I thought I could escape for a few minutes into the mindlessness that is Social Media, when I got the friendship invitation. It was from a guy I don't know and have never spoken to. Now, ordinarily I don't mind who befriends me on Facebook because I like interacting and socialising with many different people. Read PEOPLE, not FREAKS.

Anyways, 3 days later I get a message from this guy and in this message he tells me that he was very intrigued by my profile at first but that after befriending me he was left unimpressed. He called himself Norman (an English version of his real name). Then he emphatically stated that the only reason he added me was because he thought I was a Pakistani and then went on to complain that there weren't enough photos of me and not enough details about my life. And then he went further, accusing me of "collecting people on Facebook" as someone "who feels good about how many people they have as friends". And then he kindly ended the message with "Wanted to know u but not anymore. Take care".

I urge you, dear reader, to remember that HE added ME.

So naturally, I was kinda peeved. I mean, who the hell does this guy think he is... acting like he has done me a favour by adding me to his list of friends and then criticising when he knows absolutely NOTHING about me or my life. And so I had to respond:

You're a Pakistani that calls himself Norman? Now who's the hypocrite?

FYI ( but not that it's any of your business) - I know most of the people on my profile. At least one third of them I went to school and university with, and two thirds are family members, friends, colleagues or part of my social network.

Sorry if I don't parade my life on Facebook, I don't spend ALL my time posing in front of mirrors, taking photos of myself like most of the girls you know. I actually HAVE a life.

This is why the world has such a low opinion of Pakistani's. I pity you. Right, now go and call someone who gives a shit about your retarded opinions - or better yet go cry on your Mother's shoulder and tell her that she should have taught you better manners - and then you can go and fuck off to whatever shit-hole you came from, you fucking good-for-nothing maggot. Goodbye.



  1. Great rant at the end. Norman sounds like a pathetic control freak and has no right to make demands of people like that. Hope your family are ok.

  2. sorry to hear about all the family issues .. *hugs through computer screen* funny how all the shit just kinda lands on you especially when you dont want it! oh and whats up with all the internet freaks/bullies/creeps?

  3. Yet another reason why I should never join Facebook! I'm so sincerely sorry to learn of the family health crises, and I'm channeling good vibes in your direction.

  4. DUDE.

    Okay, first of all: I'm sooooo sorry for all the shit you and your family are going through. I hope at least that the two aunts and uncle are not in severe pain. :-( Sorry about the cousins as well. Ugh.


    How are they all coping with it and how are YOU coping in kind?

    As for the Facebook cretin, nice going on the rant, heh heh. KAPOW! ;-) Let us know if he responds with any more loserish emails (...hopefully not!).

  5. Go Azra! What an awesome retort. However, it probably went completely over his retarded head. People never cease to fascinate me! I hope you get through the family issues ok, it's tough work. And for the record, I love having you as a FB friend ;)

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  7. don't understand people like that! I want to ask them, are you human?
    My freak magnet has simmered down a little...but I did get a skype invite the other day...I accepted, to see who it was, he immediately typed “sex?” I've never deleted someone so fast in my life!
    But like wtf? Even the freaks are getting lazy? Normally they would draw you in with their charm and the slight hint of normalcy then unleash the crazy dragon, now they just like dragon *boom* in your face.

  8. Yikes, so many things happenng at the same time. Hope you and your family pull through all the illnesses and troubles.

    Loved your response to Norman. What/who does he think he is?

  9. And that is why I hate FB.

    I'm sorry to hear about your family. I hope you guys are all hanging in there and my thoughts go out to y'all.

    The bank news is never good, seems like it never stops, right?

  10. What an asshole! I am so proud of you for actually responding. That is the most ludicrous ploy I've ever seen by a man attempting to shame you for not having immediately throwing yourself at his feet and thanking him for the offer of his friendship by sending him more pictures and entertaining him. Disgusting!

    I do hope things settle down soon for you work and family wise. It can be very tiring and emotionally draining. Stay strong! ~hugs~

  11. TonyVH
    Pathetic indeed! I just don't understand what makes some men think they're so entitled.
    Everyone is doing fine thanks :)

    There's been a lot going on - but that's life and everyone goes through it :) As for the Internet freaks, they just need to be put in their place.

    Roving Retorter
    Thanks for the good vibes :) Everyone is much better. I keep a Facebook account to keep in touch with Family and Friends that live overseas. And it wouldn't be that bad if people didn't have expectations and didn't have this need to impress.

    Pretzel Thief
    Your concern is endearing :) Everyone is much better thanks. My aunt will leave hospital tomorrow - she has recovered from the debilitating flu but has lung cancer so gets ills easily. The other aunt went for an operation for a tumor on her spine - she's fine too. And the uncle has acute TB - but he'll be fine too. So we're all coping well. My family has a weird sense of humour so while it's emotionally taxing, no ones sitting around crying or anything like that - they'd rather make jokes :)

    I love having you as a Facebook friend too :) The site isn't so bad as long as we avoid the turds yeah ;)

    Lady T
    Hahahaha - what's worse than a Freak? A Lazy Freak hahaha.I can't believe we live in an age where people think it's ok to do stuff like that.

    Terra Shield
    Yeah a lot has been going on, and that's why I haven't been around as much. Norman and his kin deserve to be burnt alive.

    Facebook has given a platform to Freaks who wouldn't otherwise be let out of their cages. As for the banks, we definitely live in interesting times... it's like a roller coaster ride :)

    Thanks hun! I guess the 21st century rule of life is to expect a Freak encounter once every few months haha!

  12. Yikes-what a creep.

    May Allah keep you all strong to deal with everything that is happening, may He grant your family members shifaa. There is khair & mercy in all this, and Mashallah to all of you for such faith.

    Ramadan Mubarak

  13. You did not REALLY send that did you? You have balls girl! I LOVE IT.

    I'm very sorry to hear about all the sickness in your family though :(

  14. I'm sorry to hear about all the crazy moments your family is going through right now. I have my own issues as well right now and wish I could just catch a break!

    Tell me, did it feel better telling 'Norman' off? Somehow I think it helped vent a but of your frustrations ;) and well, he was asking for it!! :p

  15. oh yikes. sorry to hear of all these issues that's been keeping you occupied.
    Norman seems like an asshole and it's good that you gave it back to him. i also just recently unfriended some acquatainces. no particular reason, just thought i dont quite want them on my list.

  16. BB Aisha
    Shukran and Ameen to your duas Beebs. I believe there is a lesson in everything for everyone :)

    I did send it to him and my only regret is that I couldn't tell it to him to his face! ;)

    Yes it did feel gratifying to tell him off - but I was still annoyed, I mean who did he think he was? Anyway, I hope everything sorts itself out on your side :)

    A few months ago, there was some technical glitch and many of my friends were removed from Facebook. I re-added most of them (not all) LOL

  17. Sorry to hear all thats going on. Hope things get better and that you get a moment to take care of yourself.

    On a side note, the problem with the internet are the creeps. There's a song by a country singer named Brad Paisley called "online" that talks about it. Might brighten your day.

  18. ipenka
    I will keep an ear out for that song - I'm sure any song describing a freak is sure to be amusing ;)

  19. Ouch. On behalf of all Pakistani on the blogosphere, let me assure you that there are better ones out there as well and not everybody is like the freak in question.

  20. JDee
    Don't worry, I know. It's just that a$$holes like that give the rest a bad name.

  21. Holy crap. I do NOT want to be in your line of fire! I'm curious, has "Norman" responded?

  22. P.S. I'm so sorry to hear about your family. I hope your aunties, uncle, and cousins get as much comfort and relief as they can. Sending positive, healing vibes!

  23. Michi
    Nope, Norman hasn't responded. Thanks for the good vibes, I hope they get well soon too! :)