Some people think that the answer to all their problems is to get married. Specifically, they think that if YOU get married, the world's woes will cease to exist and life will become an episode of The Brady Bunch.
But, through careful observation over the last 100 years, I've come to see that married people are not any happier or content than single people. It's just that they have less time to think about their problems.
I always go on about how allergic I am to married men - but I never tell you why. See, there are always three types of married men that I encounter:
The first are the misogynist pigs. They're the ones that only see skirts, and not the human beings in them. They generally want to screw everything they set their eyes on, mostly because they're not getting any at home or because they suffer from some or other long-standing insecurity. For them its about the chase. The skirt is a challenge and every triumph is a notch on their egotistic belts - a quiet, desperate attempt to prove their masculinity. And since I am not for Sale and never will be, I never had and never will have any interest in the misogynistic pig.
The second kind of married man I frequently encounter is the dreamer. The dreamers are the ones that always thought of married life as a fairytale and hoped it would yield certain benefits. But the spell of blissful matrimony is broken as soon as the honeymoon is over and she flips the switch, cue Unleash the Dragon. Suddenly, they find themselves married to Cinderella's evil step-sister instead. And then they want to look for that fairytale elsewhere, desperately seeking the love and admiration they received in the initial stages of their relationships. And since I'm no ones consolation prize, there's no place in my very real life for the dreamer.
The third kind of married man I often encounter is Mr. Perfect. He's everything you've ever wanted and searched for in a man. He's all that and a bag of chips AND a super yacht with a lifetime supply of Ben & Jerry's to boot. He's the man whose every reference is always accompanied by the if-only-he-wasn't-married moniker immediately followed by a deep sigh of regret and disappointment. And from all the married men you'll ever meet, he's the most dangerous. Satan incarnate.
The thing about Mr. Perfect is that he would only ever need to blink for you to fall head over heels in love with him. But he'll never, I repeat NEVER, leave his wife for you and even if by some miracle he did - you'll never be happy because you cannot build a relationship on the ruins of another. The entire scenario is set up for you to fail from the beginning and can and probably will leave you mentally ill and emotionally scarred for life. I've seen this a hundred times and I go to extra lengths to avoid this man whenever I see him.
But from all my experiences over the years, nothing, I repeat NOTHING had prepared me for the incessant amorous advances of the younger single male. Flattered doesn't even begin to describe it. Curious comes closer.
Seven years is an awful lot of time when you're looking back. He's still a kid, I keep telling myself. We have absolutely nothing in common. And just today I decided that it would never work because at the very core, we are different people and we want different things. For instance, I HATE having to make decisions, but it's all I seem to do with someone so indecisive. Also, I always look for a partner who will take control of the relationship - and he's more than happy to relinquish any control he may have!
I don't see this going past the next 24 hours. But it was still nice to be looked at in awe and admiration.