Sunday, 9 December 2012

Females 101

A study has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: if she is ovulating, she will most probably be attracted to men with rugged, masculine features. She may even be partial to stubble or facial hair, and particularly attracted to a well defined rectus abdominus (six pack) and toned vastus medialis (thighs).

The study as also shown that some ovulating females are even known to prey on more feminine looking males, with fine symmetrical features, smooth olive skin and perfectly aligned pearly white teeth attached to healthy maxillary alvioli (gums).

However, if the female is menstruating or menopausal, she will in all likelihood be more attracted to a man that's nailed to a wall with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged firmly in his chest, while his hair is on fire.

Further revelations indicate that some menstruating or menopausal women typically prefer a type of recreational foreplay before such encounters, the likes of which may include ripping through his Hugo Boss suit collection with a sharp object and pouring gourmet gravy and mash in his $1000 Ferragamo Loafers. 

No further studies are expected on this subject.

22 comments:

  1. Thank God I'm no longer in that market!

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  2. Hahahahah, love it. The duct-taped, spear-lodged man with hair on fire while nailed to the wall is a particularly hilarious and hyperbolic visual. :D

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  3. Lol. Here's to hoping that no man's hair is on fire while nailed to the wall!

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  4. I've heard it said that women need to be wanted and men need to be loved.

    That might not be the case...

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  5. Colin
    Really? You sure you don't want to go back there? LOL!

    Roving Retorter
    Well, this study is as good as it gets. There is no other room for findings or conjecture LOL!

    Pretzel Thief
    I was trying to be kind hahaha!

    Jaya
    Seems like a double whammy innit? Some women don't see any alternative.

    LL
    Definitely not the case in most scenarios. Perhaps for some it's the other way around?

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  6. I've heard this too - and also that if she is on the pill which changes her hormones that women find more feminine men attractive as well.

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  7. Replies
    1. No need to be frightened Tony. After all, didn't Eve come from Adam's rib? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say ;)

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  8. A study has shown that men already know this.... ;)

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    Replies
    1. Maybe some men Randy, not everyone ;P

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    2. Maybe it's only the blue ones. You know, the real men ;)

      Have a great weekend, Az.

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    3. @Grumpy
      LOL! So red men aren't real men then?

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  9. HA, I laughed out loud at this - awesome

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  10. I do, however, foresee many a future study into the questions why 21st century men gave up on procreation altogether, and why there was a sudden quantum jump in, let us say, Greek Practices among previously heterosexual males...

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    Replies
    1. LOL! You are a visionary Mr. Mittington. And I believe, quite accurate in your prediction :D

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  11. I'm sorry to say that irrespective of whether or not men deserve the slings and arrows of feminine ire, in general, I'm happy to see them duck-taped as well.

    Dean
    Http://leftcoastguy.com

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    Replies
    1. @Dean
      Haha... not that men talk that much, it's just all the lies women don't want to hear.

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