Monday, 20 January 2014

No more counting dollars, we'll be counting stars...

I'll tell you a secret. When I'm really stressed out, I like to smoke. It's the only thing that really calms me down. Not cigarettes though, something much worse - Hooka / Sheesha / Hubbly Bubbly - take your pick. And I prefer a specific formula in the mix of flavoured molasses: one third mint, one third bubble gum, and another third substituted with either strawberry or paan flavours. 

But I only ever want to light up that pipe on hot summer nights, or when I'm particularly disillusioned with life; which, believe it or not, is not very often. Mostly because I gym regularly and I can't kill my lungs as often as I'd like to. 

And while I'm here confessing my sins, let me just say that those chocolate covered sweets / chocolate covered candies... yeah I don't like those. Especially those with the hard, chewy centers... and those that splinter in your mouth as you bite into them, making the sweet / candy centers pierce or cut your tongue. I always secretly eat all the chocolate off, and then discard the rest - which is awfully wasteful.

Also, I find that there are some people with whom you can only ever have the same kind of conversation. Like Fiona, an acquaintance, for example. We have the same conversation every single time we see each other. We'll complain about our respective work loads and bitch and moan about this and that. But the day I have nothing to complain about, or I'm cheerful and grateful, she actually looks put out... like she doesn't know how to respond to that. 

And let me not talk about something else... like the weather, or brownies, or Edward Snowden... then she looks at me like I've gone bonkers; like she can't comprehend or relate and can therefore not participate in the conversation... until I start complaining about the workload again... and the look on her face transforms into: Home. Cue enthusiastic and animated dialogue.

"So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Dumbest.question.ever. Uhm, lets see shall we... 5 years ago, I never thought I'd be here. In fact, the life I envisioned for myself 5 years ago is completely different to what it is today. Five years ago, we never anticipated that we'd still be crawling out on our knees from this never ending masked recession. What fascinated me endlessly 5 years ago, bores me shitless today. 

So what's the point of such an outdated question... a question that has no place in our contemporary fast-paced politically and economically volatile environments? You want to know if I have ambition? The answer is Yes. Where that ambition will be directed to, The Lord only knows. Because Life happens while we're busy making plans. 

And finally, I find that the ever increasing problem with the world, is the disparity between the "do nothings" and the rest of us. The "do nothings" are people like the Kardashians or the latest internet sensation/s who don't live in reality as we know it; people living at home off their family fortunes; selling their lives or lifestyles to increasingly voyeuristic audiences on social media platforms... 

THAT versus the majority of people that actually have to live humdrum lives complete with paying rent and student loans and having to answer to bosses, do laundry... people that actually have to shop for necessities like food and detergent and don't have the luxury of living with their rich mummies and daddies; while the Next Big Miss Thing flashes her boobs, paints her toenails and shows you how she does her makeup better than you do. 

And at first novelty breeds awe... then envy... and then over time it naturally morphs into something else: resentment... especially when we're being told that having a PhD won't guarantee that we'll have jobs, and that you might as well ditch any idea you have of doing what you "love" because that won't pay the bills, and that this horse will have a better retirement than you will. It's the whole Titanic thing all over again... hundreds of people drowning or freezing to death in this ocean called Life, while an elite handful sit snug in their boats, oblivious to anything that doesn't include Justin Bieber. The worst is that there seems to be little hope for the masses out there. 

17 comments:

  1. I didn't like hookah the one time I tried it - but am up for giving it another chance.

    And I have more contempt for the voyeurs who keep the do-nothings in business than for the do-nothings themselves.

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  2. I agree @Roving Retorter - the people who endorse these "do nothings" are as much to blame.

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  3. fantastic post - I had hoped for someone else admitting to being obsessed with that song (I'm listening to it as I type), but I actually prefer your mini rant. I totally get you. I still have some Fiona friends left. I kicked most of them out of my life because I really don't feel like wasting my time like that any more (something to do with me getting ooooold), but some I can't part with. I'm still struggling with doing what I love and start to question the whole premise of it more and more. do we really ALL need to make money doing what we love? can't it be enough that we ALL can afford doing what we love after work, something our parents' generation only dreamt of? do we really need to reflect on everything we do instead of just doing it? it's a strange, strange world we live in. seems like we have to create problems if there aren't any sufficiently bothersome available for free...

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    1. @Petra - Getting older definitely changes ones priorities. I don't believe that everyone can live the "dream life"... if that were possible this would be Utopia instead of Earth. And yes... people tend to thrive on drama of all sorts. I want to live free of that.

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  4. I used to smoke a lot of sheesha, but managed to stop a while ago, years in fact.

    This post had a lot of info in it! I love how your mind works - I can almost see the wheels turning as you typed it.

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    1. @Prixie - lol, I'm adamant that I'm not an addict though... because there are long periods of time when I actually "forget" to smoke. And when I'm not smoking, I don't miss it. I like to think of it as my excuse to sit outside under the stars and do nothing (while keeping myself occupied at the same time).

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  5. It is so easy to get caught up in social media and believe that it is someone else's "real life" and I constantly have to remind myself that it's a snapshot of something going on and not representative of everything. And I've also weaned myself off of Facebook. It's the devil really. Find those real people who you can have satisfying conversations and relationships with because those people are the ones who will really push you to grow and develop as a person

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    1. It's true @Rooth... that we're not everything we are on Social Media platforms - that we're more complicated and diverse than that. I do value the people I interact with though (sometimes more than the people I see in my every day life!). Diversity is important - any stagnation in any part of life always leads to death.

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  6. Not having such a 'happy new year', then?

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    1. On the contrary @dreamlife :) It's Alhamdulilah, fantastic, and I've got nothing to complain about and Insha Allah it stays that way. This post: these were just thoughts going through my mind and it may have come out more rant-y than intended to.

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  7. Should have got my bloody boobs out earlier. Hindsight..
    Azra - smoke, eat sweets, I don't care. all things in moderation are ok. But don't ask me about moderation. I've never understood it.

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    1. There are days when I have the same sentiments @Julietta... My thing is, I never want to become slave to my vices. Whatever I choose to indulge in should be me making that active choice, and not having it (whatever it is - smoking/chocolate/wheat/guys) control me.

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  8. Interesting post, lots going on here. I however, do believe there remains lots of hope to go around.

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    1. @Happy Whisk - I'm inclined to think that life is great, but much like a plumbing system, it needs to be maintained and mended and taken care of so that things flow through without getting stuck in the pipes and clogging the system :)

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    2. Sometimes though it's a matter of over-thinking and not being there in the moment, but rather taking everything on around us. Trying hard to maintain something that maybe, would be better off just letting go of.

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  9. The point of such an outdated question ...is hope. You've given me hope, couz. I hope some day I'll be able to return the favor.

    P.S. The world looks normal again. Pretty much. Just bought myself a new brain on ebay.

    'I can't kill my lungs as often as I'd like to'. No comment. ;)

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    1. I'm happy for your normal brain Grumps. You know I'd buy you 1000 new brains if I could ;D

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